Your Personal Statement or Essay
“Words when well chosen and presented, have so great a force to them that a description often gives us more lively ideas than the sight of the things themselves.”
Joseph Addison
The essay or personal statement that you use with your application for admission or in your scholarship packet is a POWERFUL tool that has the potential to nail down your admission or the scholarship. The first paragraph is the most important one. Some refer to it as “the hook.” It is the paragraph that grabs the readers’ attention and entices them to read further.
Your essay should be a story that is somewhat autobiographical; one that is authentic, vibrant, colorful and interesting. In their book, Best College Admission Essays, Princeton Review makes these important points about the essay that where developed by Holly Thompson and James Montoya of Stanford University. They advise us that the essay should tell a story and say, “Don’t insult your reader’s intelligence by turning your essay into a résumé in prose.” Thus I suggest that you pretend as if you are writing background information for a movie or video clip. In other words, be very descriptive, paint a vivid picture in the readers’ minds, stimulate the senses and even evoke some emotion.
After you have grabbed the readers’ attention with the first paragraph, the next few paragraphs continue the story while telling the reader about yourself - the personal traits, characteristic and strengths that you have developed. They reveal why you decided to continue your education and what you want to study.
The directions for the essay usually give a hint of what they want to learn about you, or in a way, give you an outline to follow. Don’t be afraid to be creative or take a risk. Sit with someone who can give you ideas and help you as you develop a draft. Here in the Taos area, help is available from the Bridges Project for Education, Project Talent Search, and for course, UNM-Taos’ Career and College Prep Program. Others who can help include your parents, counselors, teachers, coaches or friends. Sample essays are available in books and on the internet. Besides the aforementioned book another good source is www.collegesummit.org. Ask the person who is helping you if they have some sample essays.
The last paragraph should be a statement of financial need. College is expensive, so most of you can use the help.
After a person has finished your essay, the reader should feel as if they know you, as if they have taken a peek into your heart or felt your pulse. Get the idea?
Once you have developed an essay, you can tweak it for the various schools and a scholarship committees.
“Writing essays is one of the most essential components of your scholarship search.”
Marianne Ragins, Winning Scholarships for College
“Over the last 20 years I have read more than 10,000 admissions essays – many good, many not so good – but there are a few I remember to this day. What made these few memorable? In each instance, the writers revealed themselves to me in ways that the rest of the college admissions process does not permit”
Carol Wheatley, Director of Admissions, the College of Wooster
Handout prepared by Ben L. Vásquez
Vásquez Career and College Counseling Services
BenVsqz@aol.com
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